take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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