I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
