he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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