There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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