Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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