Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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