I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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