how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize