She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize