There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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