he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
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Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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