you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
