I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
