It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
