I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sponge bath it is.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
