There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
