Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize