Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
