My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
