but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't want my vagina anymore.