I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!