His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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