I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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