I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
