Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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