your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
