Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Actions speak louder than pants.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
