What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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