so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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