I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
