R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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