I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
