so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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