need another drink. this is the easiest way
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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