I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He felt like a one man threesome
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
