Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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