she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
