So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
