Fuck appropriateness.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
