Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize