I just made out with a guy for $7.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
