is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
