He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
