just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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