He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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