Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
