Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
