she smelled like a LAN party
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
