Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
