even my farts smell like vagina
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
