After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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