I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize