Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i drank out of a bidet.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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