ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
