your parents love me but you hate me
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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