There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
