So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
